“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving yourself and see what happens.“ ~ Louise Hay

Have you heard about the “law of attraction?”… It’s this belief that whatever we focus our attention on is what we get. 

I know what you are thinking, you’ve never focused on any of the negative things that have come your way, but how long have you defined them and made them a part and parcel of you?(and allowed more negative things in?)

When something bad happens to us, We give it a name – “I’m unemployed” “I’m fat” “I’m depressed”… These titles help us hold onto these “emotions” longer than we should. 

And if you believe 1000 years of research on the laws of attraction that has cut across science, myths, and religion you would know that your body is always listening to anything you say… even as a joke.

There’s a popular quip that if we spoke to others the way we speak to ourselves, we would not have any friends and that’s true. You’re harder on yourself, always looking down on your accomplishment and you don’t know this but it shows.

It shows in how you walk, talk and your interaction with others, you become a magnet for more of the same bullshit happening to you which shouldn’t be.

Now, is there a way to snap out of this? I’m glad you asked. 

Life is full of ups and downs.. But what happens to us(good or bad), is limited to how we choose to see it – A final destination or opportunity for growth.

You can find stories of two people who go through the same circumstances and come out entirely different – One healed and is soaring, the other broken and damaged.

The difference sometimes is how forgiving we are of ourselves and how we choose to interpret the happenings in our daily lifes.

When it rained, as kids, it was fun to run into the rain(even when we know we’d get beat silly), but as adults, when we owe no one any explanation, getting caught in a storm is seen as the worst thing that can ever happen… you can use that as a reason to complain about for the rest of the day of things the storm is stopping you from doing instead of finding something else you can do indoors that would be fun(or going to dance in the rain)

If you don’t have a job, feeling “unemployed” comes with all the negative connotations that come with that term.. – “You’re broke” “You’re a failure”.. Even more in this age of social media where everyone’s wins are in your face

When you go job hunting with this weight, it snaps you of your energy and motivation

But when you look at it differently a lot changes

Replacing the words “I’m unemployed” with the words “I’m job hunting” might seem cheesy on the surface but let’s look at the snowball effect

Now, when you tell yourself this, there is a ray of hope – job hunting means you are searching for an opportunity, Your energy goes from depressed to hopeful and the more “deluded” you are in this phasee, the better your chance of seeing things change for you

But it’s still the same situation – you don’t have a job..YET But by looking at it differently.. You have hope(YET).. 

This goes for anything in life. When you try something and it doesn’t go as planned, seeing it as a “lesson” is better than saying you “failed”.. One demonstrates a finality, the other gives you options for growth

If a good friend of yours told you they tried something and failed would you call them a failure? Or you’d encourage them to give it one more go?

Try this with other situations in your life.. See the problem and feel the negative energy that comes from how you’ve looked at the issue

Now, think of a better way to view the situation that opens up opportunities for you

Stop punishing yourself with “harmless words” like 

• “I’m not good enough”
• “I’m stupid”
• “I’m a failure”
• “I’d never achieve that”

Stop saying them in your head.. Eliminate every negative voice of doom. Start approving yourself and your little wins and see how it goes

If you can talk to others kindly and with compassion, extend the same grace and support to yourself.

The day you stopped making yourself feel small with your self-talk, your life transforms, Say this to yourself

“ I don’t have any weaknesses; I only have areas for growth.”

Make a list of single disempowering words and negative things you have continually said to yourself in the past and actively start eliminating them from your vocabulary. Seriously, do this!

“Language shapes our behavior, and each word we use is imbued with multitudes of personal meaning. The right words spoken in the right way can bring us love, money, and respect, while the wrong words—or even the right words spoken in the wrong way—can lead to a country of war. We must carefully orchestrate our speech if we want to achieve our goals and bring our dreams to fruition.” – Dr. Andrew Newberg, 

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