“Each of us has an inner compass. This is an instinct that points us toward health. It warns us when we are on dangerous ground, and it tells us when something is safe and good for us.” ~ Julia Cameron
Human relationships are amazing. Two people in love. I don’t know what side of the fence you’re on but it is lovely to see it when it goes right. That’s why we all crave relationships – especially the more intimate ones that lead down the aisle or to some form of commitment
If you have spent a decade and a half plus on earth, you would have had your share of relationships.. Some good, some awful.. So awful you might have shut yourself out because you’re scared of being hurt again.
But what’s worse and what brings on this paranoia?
It’s when you realise after a “breakup” you had no idea the “monster” you’ve been dating. “Monster” is such a strong word but ex’s have been called worse(deservedly).
Love is blind is such an overused word but it holds some truth. When we love people – we invent a “version” of them. This version is usually what we see on the surface and bond with and what we choose to ignore.
After a breakup, however, the cracks begin to show.. You begin to see things everyone else saw(and warned) you about but you were blind to(love yeah?)..
You can go from discovering your ex may not like your favourite movie as much as he claimed(not so bad) to realising you’ve been dating yourself because you’ve been with a narcissist or someone with anger issues that could have ended your life if things didn’t end when they did(killers, kidnappers, cultists. murderers).
In the animal kingdom, antelopes are known for detecting danger and warning other animals when a predator is close. They send signals by whistling and use scent as a warning signal too.
Like the antelope, we often have a “gut” feeling about danger and people we meet. But unlike the antelope, we ignore the danger signs and alarm bells from those around us(especially when are in love or want to be loved).
Here’s a list of warning signs you might have ignored(or might be ignoring) in your relationships. If you observe these behaviours patterns from your partner, then pay attention to your instincts and RUN!!!!
The conversation is always about them: Ever been with someone who thinks the sun revolves around them?.. There is always a story about them and when you try to put in a word.. The conversation circles back to them..always. Their “haters” are uncountable
When they take a break talking about themselves, they will talk about other people in negative ways: They can be very subtle with this, but they always have a way of painting everyone else as bad or seeing a “flaw” in anyone else’s achievements.. “He’s rich because he’s a ritualist”
They don’t celebrate your achievements, and when they do… it’s in comparison to something they’ve done: The only person whose success means a lot is theirs.
They lack empathy and compassion for people who need help or support: They talk down on sick or disabled children, alcoholics, anyone below them in one way, shape, size or form are people they consider weak. They speak about them with a sense of disdain.
They withhold things from you: They tell many half-truths, you’re made to feel just a little bit on the outside of things. this leads to the next point
You sometimes feel confused about past things they said or did: The story is always changing and you begin to question your memory
You frequently feel bad in your relationship: You always feel “hurt” for no reason at all. This is the “gut” feeling of something not being quite right.
You sometimes feel like the relationship isn’t balanced: You are always giving, calling, texting and reaching out… and when you complain, the problem is still YOU.
There is an uneasy feeling of “in-out.”: You never know where you stand with them. One minute you’re in and the next minute you’re out. This is a power play on your psyche and you can begin to question everything, even about yourself
They make wild claims about their ex: We’ve all had bad ex’s(and been bad exes). That’s how we’ve learned and grown. However, being with someone who always has something bad to continually say about their ex can feel “off”. There is always a crazy story with “proof”. They boast about how they’ve defeated their ex, how the ex still wants them back.. Little mind games to make you feel insecure enough. Some of these crazy stories of the crazy things their ex has done are often a projection of their own monstrous behaviour. Why are they believable? It’s because they’re true stories, the only difference is they are not victims but predators in the real story.
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