There’s no worse feeling than being unsatisfied with something or someone that once brought you so much joy and happiness. This is why most of us hold on to unhappy relationships in the hope that things would change.
When it comes to things it is much easier to quit something that doesn’t give you the joys and happiness it brought you before. A job, A hobby or a habit.
However, when it comes to relationships (he lovey dovey kind we all imagine), it can be difficult to move on from someone who at one time brought you so much joy and happiness.
It is worth noting that every relationship has its ups and downs, from our personal relationships to relationships we share with our brothers, sisters, cousins and parents and down to the very emotional one we share with someone we love and want to build and spend the rest of our lives with
But there are times when the relationship is not going anywhere and for the sake of your life and the significant other involved. It might be time to address it or call it quits.
But how do you now you are in an unhappy relationship that needs to be addressed? I’m glad you asked.
We get these signals and if they persist for too long with no change in sight, then it is time to find a solution or move on. If you do not know what this signals are(or you ignore them completely) you might feel frustrated, irritated and passive aggresive to your partner and things can spiral out of control
Thats said, these are 5 major signs to show you are unhappy with a relationship and it is time to address it or quit it altogether
5 signs you are in an unhealthy relationship
1. You get panic attacks when it is time to go home: I asked a mentor one time how he keeps his home happy and in answering the question he shared this story with me.
He has a boss who would make them work late just because he did not want to go back home to his wife!
Your home should be a place of comfort where you can find peace and happiness no matter what is going on outside. While you’d have problems with your significant other every once in a while, if you are constantly looking for ways to not go home, then there is a problem and you need to address it.
Most married men dread going home and would rather leave work and go hang at the bar till late at night. When it is time to go home they don’t feel good about it.
If you find that goig back to someone you love or a place you call home distresses you more often than not, it is time to take a hard look at yourself and your relationship.
2. You have serious trust issues: If you find yourself constantly having to spy on your partner by going through their phones, asking who they are with every time they are not with you and being paranoid when you have to leave them with others of the opposite sex, it is time to reconsider the relationship
How long can you keep that up for anyway?
Mutual trust is the foundation necessary for your relationship to grow and if you cannot find it through mutual respect for one another, snooping around would not help you either.
While it is healthy to have doubts and find out if something is out of place, snooping constantly through your partners phones, messages and activities can be mentally draining for you.
You are not treating the root cause which is trust but trying to paper over a major crack with your snooping.
It is draining and takes so much mental energy and you can’t live the rest of your life like that.
What would you do if you are right and you see something? Leave or complain..
Thats your decision to make
3. “My life would be better without you” : If you are constantly thinking about how much better your life would be without your significant other, it is bound to make you resentful and hateful. You might not notice it but you’d start being passive aggressive in everyway possible.
When you start having thought such as these constantly, the root cause is that you are unhappy with the relationship.
While counselling and talking to your partner can help, you should look into your own life and remember why you got started in the first place and what went wrong (and if it is fixable).
Did your partner stop doing somethings, did you stop doing somethings, is there someone else… you have to take a hard look at your situation and decide if this is worth keeping or if you have to move on.
Make effort to address the issues on your part and see how it affects your relationship. If you cannot it is time to seek professional advice if you want to salvage the relationship.
If you constantly visualise a future without your significant other, it means you do not see yourself together and it is time you moved on or let them go.
If you’re not at least imagining adventures together, then why are you in that relationship?
4. You hate your partner: Love and hate cannot stay in the same place, one has to leave for the other to stay. If you start resenting your partner, especially for the qualities you fell in love with him/her for, then it is time to re-evaluate that relationship.
When you get there, those passive aggressive feelings would start to show up in how you treat your partner.
You’d lash out at the littlest things and make mountains out of molehills when you should be calm and centered.
When you get to this point in the relationship, it is time to move on and end things as quickly and painlessly as possible most especially if your partner is beginning to feel the same way
5. You’re still stuck in the past: Having thoughts about your past is okay, especially the euphoria that comes from having a new relationship. The lovey dovey smile and all those beautiful feelings that have observers shouting “God when” at your cute irresistible pictures.
If you lost that spark and are unhappy about it, it is time to talk to your partner and see activities you can do together to revive that energy.
It is best to have a candid conversation with your partner to hear their thoughts on this issues. It is a hard ask, but if the upside is being happy and growing once again – is it not worth it?
A happy and healthy relationship takes effort from two people working together. If you are feeling stuck about your relationship and unhappy it is time to reflect and save your relationship or save yourself.
Ignoring the signs of an unhappy relationship would not make it go away. It can cause lots of harm, anger and resentment down the line if you do not address it once and for all, something worse.
You’ve heard and read some aweful things that have happened between lovers, married couples that makes you ask “ but they were so in love”… it comes from ignoring these signs and lettiing it spiral into something huge like domestic violence or murder.
Save your relationship or save yourself