“Those that have the courage to conquer their fear will be free. And those that are conquered by it are made to suffer.”
-Alexander the Great
What do you fear the most?
Fear has a way of paralysing us to the point we cannot move or function. It is worst when that fear is imagined. Which is most of what we see today.
Our minds can think of the worst possible outcome for every scenario and even though these outcomes have not happened yet. We rationalise and react like they are set in stone.
Fear is a valid emotion we all have as humans. Our brains have been trained for millennials to help us survive in a harsh world where you could be eaten by a dinosaur or have your neck snapped by a Gorrila.
Our fears now are a lot less worse but still valid. We are not scared of the dark anymore but scared of what the world would think of us in our heads. Scared of being judged, not been loved in return, scared of the future, scared of our past. etc
The paralysis that exists now is more mental than physical and it is taking its toll. See the recent rise in cases of drug abuse and other trauma?? Most of it can be linked to fear.
Everyone is looking for that escape.
Like I said – fear is a trained habit our brain has mastered to preserve us through the good and the worst of times and the ability to understand and differentiate valid fears like – the fear of falling off a story building or being eaten by a lion if you find yourself in a jungle. This is a valid fear.
The fear is we experience from imagining the worst possible outcome before you have done something. Thinking to the point of paralysis and taking the easy route of not doing anything because you are scared.
Fear is fondly defined as “a natural, powerful, and primitive human emotion. It involves a universal biochemical response as well as a high individual emotional response. Fear alerts us to the presence of danger or the threat of harm, whether that danger is physical or psychological.”
However, this definition with an acronym works as well
F – alse
E – motions
A – ppearing
R – eat
Most times your growth is linked with what you fear the most. The only way to grow is to face your imagined fears. Those things you want to do that would improve your wellbeing. But you are stuck. Stuck on what people would think and so you settle.
Every feeling is not a fact. The fact you “feel” that you would fail if you tried does not make it a fact! You could also succeed. The same energy that goes into thinking you would fail is the same energy that can be used thinking you could succeed.
And even if you fail – which still isn’t a fact yet because you are yet to try, you’d fail forward. You’d do something that either works or something you can learn from.
Fear is a primitive ingrained emotion we all have and to deal with it you need help. These 4 tips can help you face your fears and give your best shot to a life you want.
4 helpful Ways To Help You Face Your Fears
1. Share your fears with people who care:
We all have fears. Something we want to do but are not quite sure. Could be asking that girl out or starting a new business venture. Asking people who have done it or someone you trust can help decrease your fears.
Remember most of your fears are from your reality. Sharing it with someone else gives you the opportunity to see “you” from a different light. Sharing your fears with the “right” – and I cannot stress this enough – audience would decrease your fears significantly.
Chances are, there is someone who has surpassed this same huddle that seems so big to you. A problem shared is half solved.
2. Purposefully visualise the opposite:
It takes the same amount of energy thinking everything could go wrong as it would to think everything could go right. So why are we so negative minded? – because our brains are wired to always think of the worst scenario.
Research has shown that humans crave satisfaction from bad news rather than from good news. This is why the news is so negative. Negativity sadly sells and the more outrageous the headlines – the more clicks it gets.
The news papers have to make sales and if reporting more bad news makes more sales- easy money aint it?
For you, it is different – visualize the opposite of your fears and even if they come to pass – interpreting it as a learning curve makes all the difference than seeing it as an utter failure.
3. Put the rest in God’s Hands:
If you read one of our previous posts here on Seeking God’s face, it centered more on finding a life partner. You should seek Him before you start out any worthwhile venture for yourself.
This is where prayer plays a huge part in your life. You are only human and believing in a higher power makes sense. Praying and putting everything not in your control in God’s hands is how you get better. You’d feel good knowing you are covered
4. Show up and give it your best:
A new relationship or a new business – After you have prayed and given the rest to God, you have to show up and do the work. You have to be consistent and do the work that is required of you. Giving it your best increases your chance of success and this should be seen as an opportunity for growth,
These four steps should help you get out of your comfort zones and take on new things in your life and new challenges.
For a better life you need to seek new challenges and opportunities to grow.