Love is a journey. And just like any other journeys, it is one where you have to carefully and patiently choose the right path so as to not have any form of regret. Being with a wrong partner in your relationship can not only break you, but it can totally ruin your life, happiness and steal any iota of peace in your life. It is not something to be taken lightly.
It is easy to break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend and move on with your life, but separation between a husband and a wife is a different thing, it is worse when kids are already in the picture. The number of people that would get hurt are higher and it can lead to stigmatization. Although the world is beginning to accept divorce as the other of the day.
It’s never easy to know who the right person is. We’ve seen instances where we were so sure a particular person was the one and they turned out different. We’ve seen where Pastors and Alfas have said this is the one, people entered the marriage and it became hell. So how do we know who the one is? What are the characteristics of the one?
1. The right one loves God.
This generation of ours, we overlook things of God, things of the spirit forgetting that “God is love”. A man or woman that loves God, would know how to love you right.
2. The right one practices what he/she speaks
Actions speaks louder than words and without action, words are futile. So even if a man/woman claims to love and know God, if his/her actions say otherwise then you might want to consider taking a rain check.
3. The right one will honour and respect you
Some that loves you will respect you and not do anything that will bring shame or disrespect to you. The right one won’t be one to mock you or treat you like a joke when you all are inside or outside.
4. The right one makes sacrifices
Everything in life involves risks and sacrifices. If a man or woman truly loves you, he/she will make sacrifices for you, your relationship and your happiness. A selfish, self absorbed person cannot make sacrifices.
5. The right one forgives
Forgiveness and relationships go hand-in-hand. It is as important as effective communication. A man/woman that doesn’t know how to forgive will always make you feel miserable and remind you of your misdeed every opportunity they get. You don’t want to be with such a person.
6. The right one brings you peace
Peace of mind is one of the most underrated yet important gifts a partner can give you. A partner that enjoy picking on you and is ever ready to fight is not and can not be the right one.
7. The right one has self control
Temperance is a gift most people lack. Be on the look out for this attribute. A self disciplined man/woman will most likely not be easily swayed by opinions. A man/woman with self control will carefully analyze situations before reacting. When triggered, they’ll easily work away.
8. The right one will not lie
A person that lies can kill. Of course a person that loves you has no reason to lie to you. No matter how bad a situation is, they’ll always tell the truth. If you happen to notice he/she lies a lot, that’s an automatic red flag, run!
9. The right one will be faithful
In a generation where cheating on your partner has been normalized, still look out for a loyal partner. You partner should be loyal and dedicated to you. You should be enough for them. If you find out he/she is sneaky and has multiple girls/guys in his life, please rethink your decision.
10. The right one will love you
Love is a verb. It is an action word. From his/her actions you’ll know. Love is selfless, calm, it protects, it is persistent, honest, respectful, it doesn’t lie or kill, it sacrifices, it brings out the best in you. With the right one you’ll feel and have all the aforementioned.
True love is indeed powerful and that’s why it’s not an easy thing to do. The above list are just guidelines to choosing a partner. People can change, people can become better or worse but remember this always; choosing a partner is not only a matter of your own happiness, but also the happiness and welfare of your children. Your choice goes a long way in determining how your future would be. Choose wisely, carefully and prayerfully.