Forgiveness is an intentional and voluntary act. It is a conscious, deliberate decision to let go of feelings of resentment, anger or vengeance toward a person or a group of person that caused you harm, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness or not.
Humans are generally flawed, it’s why the popular quote says “To err is human, to forgive is divine”. Our imperfections makes us prone to mistakes and if not careful, we can end up hurting others intentionally or unintentionally.
Reaching a place of forgiveness is not really about one deciding that what someone did was okay if it wasn’t, no! Rather, it is about you eliminating the negativity that comes from the hurt caused you by letting go of all the emotional baggage and mental stress. It is very important to know when to forgive as sometimes, the hurt can keep you stagnant and affect not just the present but also the future, in ways you’d least expect.
Forgiving doesn’t mean you have to forget, no! You’re human, and from time to time, you’d have flash backs, especially if the hurt was caused by someone you held in high esteem or love. Anyone who says you can forgive and forget isn’t a little bit realistic and probably haven’t been in such a situation.
Forgiving can be a really difficult thing to do especially if the hurt runs deep but it is something that must be done as we do not forgive for the other person, we do it for ourselves, for our sanity, for our growth and happiness. Holding on to the hurt and pain will only do more harm than good and you’ll be the only one hurting. We forgive so we have be free, free of the heaviness in our heart, free to actually live. We forgive so we can be healthy physically and mentally. We forgive so the hurt and pain can stop having so much power over us and our emotions.
So take your time today, process everything, every emotion, feel it. Ask the offender(s) questions, get your answers, let them know how much they hurt you, and when you’re sure deep within you that you can look past it, let them know you’ve forgiven them while letting them know how wrong what they did was. If possible, put them in the right track by educating them.
There is healing and peace that comes from forgiving, so try to forgive that person(s) today and enjoy the healing and peace and while enjoying it, set your boundaries, keep them at arms length after all it is said that “once bitten, twice shy”.